The Harsh and Terrifying Reality.
Granted I did change my diet last October and have been watching what I was eating, that wasn't the real reason I was losing weight so fast. For the last several months I have been slowly dying from diabetes. Four weeks ago, I finally went to the doctors and he confirmed what I was fearing. I've been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and I'm currently on insulin and pills. I take the insulin in the morning and the pill at night. My blood sugar was at the time of the visit was 521. So dangerously high, and the doctor was calm about it. He immediately prescribed me insulin and over the last three weeks have been working to find the right amount for me. We have found that balance and my levels have been normal.
At the time of the visit, I weighed 210. 70 pounds from where I was back in October. Since then I have gained 20 pounds. Granted its mostly my muscle coming back. I refused to believe it was anything other than my dieting that was making me lose the weight. Now I have things under control, I'm starting to fill out. It does make me sad though. I was enjoying the new look and being on the road to being thin again. I thought I was actually doing something. But, now I'm going to work to get back on track and losing weight in a healthy and permeant way. Great thing though, I can still fit all my new clothes! I vow to start going on daily runs around my neighborhood and continue to monitor what I eat. With diet and exercise, I will over come.
So here is my plea to everyone, GO TO THE DOCTOR! Even if you think its just something small, go to the doctor! Also, get health insurance! Its a life saver!
Five years ago, I graduated with four Associate's Degrees from the College of Southern Maryland. I took a year off because I couldn't afford to go to the college I originally wanted to go to, North Carolina A&T under the direction of the amazing and talented, Frankie Day, may she rest in peace. God had another plan for me. I met a man that would eventually become my best friend, Sean Scriber during "Little Shop of Horrors" which was directed by Stacy Oosterink at Newtowne Players in Lexington Park, Maryland. Sean went to Frostburg State University. I had never heard of that school. Through some very generous friends and a lot of support, I was able to go to Frostburg State University and graduate Summa Cum Laude with my Bachelor's in Acting and Design Technology. I completed two separate tracks in two years, when my advisor told me it would take at least three, unless I took more than almost 21 credits a semester. I did and I succeeded.
Through a series of unfortunate events, I was called upon to teach the college acting class at The College of Southern Maryland. I was hired as an Adjunct Professor on the spot.
It was scary, exciting, and fulfilling all at the same time. My students were very open to learning, which was a bonus! I think the craziest part of it all was grading papers! I've always wanted to teach. I just didn't know it was so soon in my life. There were moments where I would just stare in awe of the work my class was doing and know that the future was going to be bright for these young performers.
I'm currently getting my syllabus ready for part two of the acting class. I'm honored to be able to mold the next generation of performers!
In college, I had the privilege to travel with the Frostburg State University Theatre and Dance Department’s Children’s Theatre Touring Theatre Company called, Roundabout Children’s Theatre with the musical production of James and the Giant Peach Jr. in Fall of 2016. It was such a great experience. The elementary schools we toured to and preformed for were so excited to have us come and be their entertainment. The children’s faces as the characters came to life in front of them was well worth the experience. I said to myself, “If I ever get the opportunity to do this show again, I would in a heartbeat.”
2 1/2 years later, I took another trip on a Giant Peach and this time, it was the full version. “James and The Giant Peach” at Port Tobacco Players in Laplata Maryland, was a joy from start to finish. I’m truly honored to have shared the stage with people I admire and with people I have grown to love.
Thank for letting me be “Plump and Juicy” once again! And thanks to all that came out to see the production!
This has been a very stressful and trying week with many ups and downs, and a dream that I had last night sums up what I have been feeling lately. I had a dream that I was in an understudy rehearsal for a professional theater company that was doing “Singin’ In The Rain”, “Dreamgirls”, and “Once On This Island”. My sheet said that I was understudying Cosmo Brown from “Singin’ In The Rain”, Jimmy Early and Cece White from “Dreamgirls”, and Asaka from “Once On This Island”. I was clearly new to this theater. I had my scripts spread out in front of me, makes up and thoroughly beated. I had marks in the songs for movement and choreography. A large container of water, tap shoes, a towel, and a rainbow duffel bag completed my little corner. I was right next to a door. On stage a plus sized African American Male was going over his routine for the title song “Signin’ In The Rain”. He was amazing. He moved to effortlessly for a guy his size. I heard a small group of performers behind me snickering and laughing, saying I don’t belong there, that I was too old, that I wasn’t qualified. It was getting to me. I started to think they were right. I didn’t belong there. I don’t even know how I got there. I got up and went out the door. The hallway lead to stairs that lead to a door that lead outside. I could just walk out and say “Screw it! I’m done!”. I stood there and thought about it. The stage manager came to the door, opened it, looked at me, locked it, and started to close it on me. I ran to the door, and opened it before it shut. I walked it and the door closed behind me with a loud CLUNK! I stood in front of the door realizing that I can never go back out of it or I will be locked out. The producer called my name to rehearse for as Cosmo Brown. I walked on stage, stood on one side of the desk, getting ready to perform “Moses”. The choreographer counted us off, 5,6,7,8. The music started. And I woke up.
This mirrored my week. This week my class had their first Mock Audition. I wanted it to be ran so efficiently and professionally. I put up signs everywhere, had two waiting room, had a staging area, and three amazing people volunteer to be their “directors”, and had an amazing spread of light snacks for them. So thank you Kaitelyn Bauer Dieguez, Amy Wathen Cooksey, and Keith Linville for your time and words. I started by giving my class a crash course on Audition Etiquette and Techniques. The beginning of the course, I assigned them all monologues based on personalities and how far I could stretch them on the first go round. We worked on those for the first three weeks of class, they performed them, got critiques, and moved on to scenes. They had the entire month of March to work on the monologues themselves as they learned new ways of approach. On the day of the Mock Audition, they shined. Through their nerves and 90 second timeframe, they gave it their all.
I was freaking out the entire time! I was second guessing my teachings. I was second guessing my approach. I know I only have a Bachelors and here I am teaching a COLLEGE course on Acting like I’ve been doing it all my life....
Even though only two years ago I graduated college, I’ve been acting for 19 years.... more than half my life. I should know what I’m talking about. I’ve had amazing teachers along the way, and the knowledge I’ve learned from them, I’m bestowing on to my students. They smile, they laugh, and they cry. I’m so proud of them it’s sickening.
I’ve heard people have been saying that I shouldn’t be teaching, I shouldn’t be acting, I’ll never move past the community level, or my favorite, I’ll never be like him (“him” being a friend of my that I constantly seem to be getting compared to, even though we both went our own path and we are both extremely proud of each other). That negative energy started to weigh on me. My life is theater. Hell, my full time job is looking at me like, when you going to have a decent schedule again! Thank you Full-Time Job for being flexible while I navigate through this field of dreams! My week consists of, Work, Teach, Rehearsal, Perform, repeat. When I’m not working, I’m preparing to either perform or rehearse. When I’m not doing either of those, I’m Sound Designing. I have five shows I’m Sound Designing and one of them is paying me. I’m in the paying my dues section of my life.
Yes I’m not like others in my age range that have families, jobs, cars, a mortgage, and whatever else people use to signify that they are adults and they are “adulting”, but that’s not where I am. Well, I am, just in my own way. Life isn’t about being on the same level as Tom, Dick, and John, it’s about living to the fullest of your abilities.
So I say this to my naysayers. Because of you, I have a fire that has reignited. This is only the beginning. Just you wait! Everyone achieves greatness in their own time, I’m on my path to receive mine. I will walk with my head up high, because I know I’m doing what I’m suppose to be doing.
Its been a year and several months since I've graduated college, and what a whirlwind it has been. Since I came back home I have been non-stop with shows and designing.
I'll list them:
As a Sound Designer
The Voice of The Prairie - College of Southern Maryland
My Children, My Africa - College of Southern Maryland
Around The World In 8 Plays - College of Southern Maryland
Journey's End - College of Southern Maryland
Hairspray - Tantallon Community Players
The Heidi Chronicles - Hard Bargain Players
Vanya, Sonia, Masha and Spike - College of Southern Maryland
Let The Right One In - Hard Bargain Players
As an Actor
Sister Act as Curtis Jackson - Port Tobacco Players
The Hound of the Baskervilles as Dr. James Mortimer- Port Tobacco Players
Ragtime as Booker T Washington - College of Southern Maryland
U-Street, The Musical as Booker T - Momentum Collective Inc.
Jesus Christ Superstar as King Herod - Port Tobacco Players
Hairspray as Gilbert/ u.s. Seaweed - Tantallon Community Players
Needless to say I took a summer off! While I was resting my mind, body, and soul, and also recharging my creative juices I was offered a job as Company Sound Designer and Guest Artist for the 2018/2019 season at the College of Southern Maryland. So I'm getting paid to Sound Design their upcoming 6 shows which started with Vanya, Sonia, Masha, and Spike. Including Sound Design, I'm directing an adaptation of Br'er Rabbit that I wrote for the College of Southern Maryland.
Its going to be a great year coming, I can feel it in my bones.
After this year is over, I'm going to start looking into grad schools. Sound Design has really taken over my mind. I would go and see shows and within my mind sound design it as the performers are giving it all on stage. So I may go for a grad program that offers Sound Design.
Acting will always be my love and passion, but I'm going to start being very selective about the parts and shows I choose to audition for. Don't get me wrong, I would love every opportunity I get, but there are some parts and character types that I've played over and over again and now I want something that will really challenge me and make me dig deep. Booker T (U-Street), Booker T Washington (Ragtime), and The Oldest Old Man/Oddsee Dog (Father Comes Home From The Wars) , really make me work and I enjoyed that aspect of those characters and I would play those parts over again if the chance came up.
Until Next Time, Stay Amazing, You Beautiful Creature!
I found an old paper I had to write about myself back when I studied at The College of Southern Maryland. I really wish I could back in time and tell Kenny of 2012 "Hey, it all works out! Just keep pushing!" I honestly believed I never would get a Bachelor's Degree. Now I have one, with me looking into possible Master's Programs. I told myself I wouldn't pursue a Master's until I go out into the world and try things out first. After reading this, it reminded me what I love about theater.
What Is It About A Man?
What is it about a man? What is his motivation? What is his purpose? What is his goal? What defines a man's character? Who? What? Where? When? Why? There are times in an actor's life when he must look at himself from an actor’s stand point. An actor must ask the questions about himself. Who am I? What do I want? Where am I going? When will I know I have reached that place? Why do I want this for my life? I found myself asking those same questions. Trying to uncover the character that I am. Trying to figure out my place in this world and in the business. But first I have to answer, what is it about a man?
Who am I?
This is a question that I thought was very simple. I'm Kenneth Levester Waters, Jr. born in Cheverly, Maryland on the ninetieth of August in the summer of '82. Parent are Kenneth Levester Waters, Sr. and Addie Lorraine Waters (at the time). The only one of my brothers to have been born in wedlock. In the deeper layers, I'm African American. I'm a male, which is pretty obvious. I'm also homosexual. But I don't let that define me. It’s a label that society has placed negative connotations on, and I refuse to fall into the trap of stereotypes. As an actor, I'm very shy and timid at first. If the subject doesn't immediately jump out at me or if the character doesn’t speak to me, I read it flat, without emotion, until I get a better understanding of what it is that I am reading and playing. This comes across as being unsure. But I assure you, it’s just me trying to get my feet wet before diving into the deep end. I find myself comparing my style of acting to those of my peers. When in fact, I know I'm better than my peers. My peers are very one dimensional. They don't have the knowledge and life experience that I have. None of them knew what it was like to work as a Go-Go Boy in an underground nightclub in Baltimore where men from all walks of life would beg you to come home with them. Of course being the shy 18 year old, and knowing that my mother didn't raise a fool, I ignored their advances. But gladly took whatever money they shoved into my Ralph Lauren underwear. They don't know what it’s like to be high on E. They don't know what it’s like to be in a loving relationship, then to find out that the man you thought you loved has been secretly engaged to a woman and that they were getting married four months later. On top of that, his mother, which of whom has been either not noticing or ignoring our relationship, asks you to be his Best Man. The speech was incredible. Academy Award worthy. After that I found myself wanting nothing more than to become one with the Earth. Tried three times. Of course since I'm writing this, I did fail. But what does all of this has to do with acting? Emotional Recall. Thank you Uda Hagen for putting a name to it. Her teachings were simply mind opening. I had so much in my past to pull from that I couldn't run out of things in my vault of past emotions. The only issue that I have come up with is how to turn it off. Luckily, I have been doing meditations to close those doors that were so forced opened.
During KCATCF I learned another thing about me. I didn't realized it until I started reading (well listening, because I got the book from Audible.com) Uda's Respect For Acting, that I shouldn't compare myself to anyone. How I portray a character and how someone else portrays that same character doesn’t necessarily mean that I am doing it wrong, it just means that it is a different take on it. Being paired with Jeremy Keith Hunter was probably the most nerve- wrecking and exciting event that has happened this semester. He and I work so well off of each other. But at the same time, that's our weakness. Our Irene Ryan Set was flawed because of that. We were so comfortable with each other that we forgot the simplest things, such as setting, time, who are we, what are we. Simply put, The Who, What, Where, When, and Why. If we had established that right from the start, we would have gotten far. Now I wouldn’t say we would have won, but we would have made it to the third round at least. But working off of Jeremy made me open my eyes a little bit more. I started to break down his acting style. Dissect it if you will. What made him so good? Physically, he fits the part of almost any black male. He would kill as Shakespeare's "Othello", he would move you to tears as Wilson's "Troy Maxon". Both powerhouse roles. Both roles that I also see myself playing. But what is it that I would bring to the characters instead of Jeremy? The emotion behind the power. The reasoning behind the character's wants. I know how to show it in my eyes. A gift that I picked up from my mother. But in his own right, he would being the power physically, where as I would bring it emotionally. Which one is more important? Neither. They are equally as important. I need to step up my game and work on my physicality.
Who am I? I am a man that has so much life experience that I need to let go and portray the parts like I know how to do and stop holding back.
What Do I Want?
After careful thought and consideration, I think I discovered what I want. During "Empty Chair", I spent time with each cast member separately to help them understand their characters. I know that it’s bad to put too much of yourself into a role or to use a role or show as therapy. Theater isn't a place for therapeutic help. But, I used this time to help me with my demons. Each character was a little bit of myself. After reading the script, I realized that I was at one point in my life, to some degree, each speaker. Coming from a family background of drugs and alcohol and abuse on all three levels, I understood. I was able to help relate that to my actors. I loved directing, but what I think I loved most of all, was teaching. I guess directing and teaching pretty much goes hand and hand. You don't want to tell them what you want, you have to let them reach that level themselves, otherwise, what have they learned? Empty Chair was helpful as I was able to talk to people about things that I never said to another human being, granted I just said it in this paper. I guess once it got off my chest, it was a little easier to grasp. But the aspect of Empty Chair that affected me at every rehearsal and every show was the name of the character that never was seen, but their presence was felt, Robert. In the show the character's name was Robert Bradbury, but in my head, it was Robert "Bobby" Balint. It shocked me that both of them shared the same initials. But what shocked me the most, was how I used this show as a means of letting go. Officially letting go. Death is a crazy thing, and it is so unexplainable, but yet so conventional. It happens every day. It happens when you least expect it. Young or old, fit or obese, white or black, it happens to everyone. Morbidly speaking we, live to die! The only thing you can take from death, ironically, is to live on. Keep them in your thoughts and live on. Empty Chair will forever be with me for that purpose. As a constant reminder to live on.
My cast was amazing. I enjoyed their energy and their dedication to their parts. I took one rehearsal and we just went around the room and discussed the show in general. Created the back story for each character, and watching them bring the show to life. The ending monologue that Simone’s character does, Robert's Obituary, really confused the cast. As a writer, every word means something, rather you mean it to or not. With how I cast the show, the monologue made sense. It was like I knew what I was doing. Once I broke the monologue down for them and told them which part was actually meant for them, it clicked in their heads. They started to cry. It was seriously the greatest moment I had so far in theater! Watching all of them get it and understand it. To delve deeper into their characters, I told each of them to think of their own Robert. Being the person that I am, there were three roles that I cast that I felt needed to be those parts to help them through their current life situations.
Like we did at every Cause Theater Production, or at least I thought we are supposed to, go figure, we did a talk back at the Laplata Campus. An audience member, with tears still in their eyes asked us how were we able to pull of this show? What helped us along and who was Robert? We were so convincing that people thought two things, that Robert was a real person, and that the cast was actually on their drugs of choice. The show really touched the guy who asked the question. After the show, I saw him go to the table that had all the information about NA and AA meetings and write it all down. To me, that is what Cause Theater is all about. Helping people. Bringing the real life right to them. Showing them that a change was needed.
What do I want, I want to be a director and a teacher.
Where Am I Going?
At first it took me a moment to understand exactly where I am going. I looked at it as a physical place instead of an internal place. During this time frame I started thinking of colleges. Well actually, I started to think about colleges after KCACTF. So many schools were there, but how do I know which one is right for me? I had to figure out what I wanted to go there for and what I wanted my minor to be. Do I go for Theatre and Dance and have a minor in Business? Or do I go for Theatre and Dance and have a minor in Secondary Education? Without lying in what is becoming an essay into my soul, I have not started to officially look. I believe once I find it within myself what I truly want to go for, I will have the motivation to achieve greatness because it’s earned, and not given.
Where am I going? I don't know yet. But I know that I do not want to be lost any longer. I need to focus on one or two aspects and go from there.
When will I know I have reached that place?
Shakespeare and Old English have always been one of my struggles. I don't understand it, well I should say I didn't understand it, until the Renaissance Fair. When first cast in "Everyman", I was ecstatic! Finally I get to be apart of a true classic! A show that not many actors can say that they had the pleasure of being a part of. When I got the script and I started to read it, I had a very difficult time. I had an even worse time trying to memorize it! Now, I'm not sure if that was because I was doing 3 shows at the same time or if I was just being lazy? I'm going to choose the 3 shows at the same time! Final week, just days before we opened, I sat on the back dock with Kendall and all we did was run my lines. It was simple! I couldn't believe how open and receptive my mind was with the whole thing. I was able to understand it and learn it with ease! All I needed was someone else and to say them out loud. It was really refreshing! Once I got the lines, I was able to reach a place within myself and the show to fully get what I was doing and saying.
I reached that place where I was no longer regurgitating lines, but actually being the lines. It was a really beautiful moment.
Why do I want this for my life?
I tried to imagine my life without theater. I can say this, I know I would still be working for RadioShack and probably a District Manager by now. I would be making over 90k a year before the age of 30. I quit because theater is my passion. I go to sleep singing a song, I wake up reciting a line or a phrase of a show I've seen or been in. Theater is in my soul. It’s not a matter of why it’s a matter of why not! I fit in theater like a glove that pulls the ropes in the fly system, like a costume that is on an actor, like a lamp in a Source 4, like a page in a stage manager's binder. Theater is my everything. I want it to be my vocation is one way shape or form. Being apart of the acting class made me realize something. Something that I knew, but didn't really reach out and do. I'm good at being a mentor. I'm good at helping my fellow actors! I helped to choose the scenes and monologues for half the class! KCATCF, I choose the scenes for Charles and Alexis! With Robert, I choose all of his monologues and told him to learn them and I helped him through the process, and watching his light bulb turn on put a smile on my face. I want this for my life, because this is something that I believe the generation after me has long forgotten. The joy and the passion that comes from being on stage, or working on a show, or designing a light plot or set. The joy of directing and watching what you put together come to life, only to be torn apart by critics! I want that! It will only help me grow as a person and as an actor. This is what I want to be. This is where I need to be. I wouldn't have quit my job and taking a job making less than 15k a year to do this. I see myself going far and being successful. I see myself helping to encourage those along the way. Theater is like a religion. Some people get it and some people don't! It’s our job to preach and give a message to society. Theater is such a powerful tool of communication. Seeing something live on a stage or even in a class room makes the audience think it’s really happening before their very eyes and it loses them in it. That's powerful! That's the magic of live theater.
That's why I want this for my life, not for the fame and glory, but to help people and to give them a way to express themselves.
Now I know at this point you are wondering why I wrote this long drawn out essay or thesis. It’s to show that I did learn. I have learned a lot this school year that I've had in my 12 years of doing theater. I truly believe that I have now reached past my plateau and am able to truly start to grow. I can't wait to see what the future holds, but I know that I hold the ticket to take the journey. It’s not going to be forced upon me, I have to truly want it and earn
I'm proud to say I am a college graduate, with a much clearer vision of where I am going, who I am, and what is it about THIS man. It has been several years of discovery with many more to go! Praise God and thank you for the blessings.
Now that I have had time to reflect and process, I can write this blog with a clear head and a better understanding of my birthday. I’m not afraid to say it, but turning 35 has been quite the adventure. Not that the day was an adventure, but just the journey from 34 to 35. Suffice it to say, I’m a late bloomer! After graduating from high school, I floundered around trying to find myself like most Generation X’ers.
But in this last year, I’ve accomplished several life changing things. Graduating from college was something I thought I would never be able to do. I’ve been blessed to have that opportunity. I’m not going to go into a mushy post, I’ll save that for another day, but I will say this. Never Give Up, the immortal words of John Cena! Yes, I’m a wrestling fan, don’t judge me!
I’m looking forward to what the next year has in store for me. In the meantime, I’m in rehearsal for “The Hound of the Baskervilles” at Port Tobacco Players and “Ragtime” with The College of Southern Maryland.
Happy Birthday To Me. August 19th will forever be my day of celebration! I’m happy to have friends that never fail to surprise me and to show me that I’m loved. Thank you guys for always being there for me.
Another show has closed. Another chapter written. Another set of people that I can’t wait to work with again. “Sister Act – The Musical” at Port Tobacco Players, even though its community theater and not professional theater, reinforced what I had learned in college and showed me that I can do this. CURTIS JACKSON, the murderous married man in Deloris’ life, brought me out of the sweet and teddy bear stigma that I’m used to be categorized in. Most people don’t’ see me as being evil or mean or threatening, but after playing this character, that outlook has changed. People would say “You were scary”, “Your facial expression really played to the character’s psychotic nature”, or “I really hated you by the end of the show”. These are things that an actor wants to hear if they are playing the bad guy.
I had a great group of gangsters to work with. Archie Parker, JR Cook, and Dominic Delcoco played TJ, JOEY, and PABLO, respectively. These guys would steal the show during their number “Lady In The Long Black Dress”, though the Nuns would steal it right back. But through these guys, we developed a family within our gang. We would have a saying, "Are you ready to be gangsta?" and the response would be "I'm always gangsta!". Finally we were able to get a mean-mugging photo. Even though after this, we lost composure.
I’ve learned about myself during this show. I always second guess myself. I’ve developed more confidence in myself and my abilities as an actor and as a singer. I’m honored to have shared the stage with these wonderful people. When the director, Ben Simpson, asked me if I would accept the role of CURTIS, at first, I didn’t think he was serious. But once I started to walk in CURTIS’ skin, I developed my inner Shaft!
Here’s a slide show of some photos from the show. Enjoy!!
I'm a guy blogging about what he loves to do, perform. Also, I may post about other things, like shows I see, events I go to, stuff like that! Or just random musings.
If nothing else, the performance of Kenneth L. Waters, Jr. make this a must-see experience. Waters portrays Mitch, the “comfort counselor.” Mitch is completing his community service hours by performing this job at the Bee. Waters was so convincing that I first wondered if he was just really this type of character in real life. The major brilliance of the performance by Waters is fully revealed when he also play the one of fathers to one of the characters. Waters transforms from knife-wielding thug to cake-baking nurturer. Waters even further shows his amazing technique and skill when he briefly plays a different character’s father and just as seamlessly transforms into a third, completely different character. Waters demonstrated strong vocals and he has an especially rich and pleasing tone. Overall, one of the best performances that I have seen in local theater." - a review on 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee with Tantallon Players from Showbiz Radio